Put away your chocha!

July 21, 2010

You’re probably wondering what the eff I am talking about.

Well. Between flea cleaning, mommying, laundry, cooking, sleeping (sort of), and working on my website, I dance through my Google Reader. There’s this blog I like by a hellacious young woman, called Daddy Likey. The gal’s name is Winona. Her little intro reads “Daddy Likey is a blog about fashion. But sometimes I write haiku about chlamydia.” What’s not to love right there?

There are two things she does that really go my attention, and kept it enough to keep her in my Reader.

The first is her FMFFI – Five Men’s Fashion First Impressions section. Wherein she has five guys give her their first reaction to a fashion find. The most recent was these:

Hold on a sec while I go schedule an appointment with my chiropractor.

[puts down phone] Okay. Much better.

But that’s only half of what I like about her blog. And it’s definitely not the shoes.

The other half is her Don’t Show Your Chocha! segments.  Finally. Someone who has targeted the crotch blaring idiots.  I’ve always blanched when seeing these outfits in real life, in magazines, on television, at concerts, wondering if they consciously realized that they’d be flashing their chocha. Or caring that they are. Not that I’m one to judge fashion mistakes (a gay friend just informed me that my soccer mom look had improved; definitely more on that in later posts, as in wtf), but it’s like men going commando under their athletic shorts. That view is not for everyone. Most often, it’s not for anyone. Ever.

To whit – this is one of the latest examples from the Don’t Show Your Chocha segment from her blog. Note the title: “Knit Contrast Ruffle Dress”

This is not a dress. It’s not even a mini-dress.  A dress of any length covers ones’ crotch-aka-chocha in its entirety, whether your arms are up or down, crossed across your chest, or even nonexistent.  Anything that does not cover your crotch is a top. That is one fashionism I’ll take to my grave. But what the hell do I know about couture? I know enough that unless I’m taking a shower or working in porn, my chocha gets covered up. And I only do one of those two things, so rest assured my chocha gets covered up post-cleansing routine, stat.

Also rest assured that all the things I sew or knit for kids or women do not, in any way, reveal the chocha. Even by special request. You’ll have to go and pay the big bucks to Gianni Versace for that petty privilege.

Though, to be perfectly fair, it’s a toss up of fashion fug between the chocha blaring skirts and the socks/heels combo.

Thanks Winona. Also, thanks for letting me steal your photos without asking. That was nice of you. Keep up the chocha work.

3:25 am